The Hand and Flowers (Marlow)

I should say that in fairness that the Hand and Flowers does still offer a set menu of three courses for £37.50 (2 courses for 2 courses) and is only slightly higher in 2021 by a couple of pounds, but this is a no-choice menu so will not cater for all tastes or allergies. The a la carte however, is now a different story altogther.  Starters now range (in 2021) from £26.50 to a hefty £46.50 and mains have now escalated to up to £87.  I will come back to this in my below.

As I was dining with a guest who had not been before, I suspected I would recommend some old favourites from the menu, hoping that they would still be on the menu. In fact, the menu is now seemingly nothing but the old favourites at their higher mark up.  The whitebait snacks, duck liver parfait, smoked haddock omelette and fish Scotch egg starters are still very much there as are the mains of the lamb bun, Beef and chips, fish and chips and Great British Menu duck main and chocolate ‘cube’ all very much dominate the options still.  Not a hugely bad thing as these are very enjoyable dishes, but it does rather point to a question of any evolving innovation.  I gather this was the case on the menu before COVID kicked in as well so I can’t attribute this to the pandemic.

At the time of our visit we arrived to see a large Tee Pee in the car park grounds of the restaurant with tables inside.  This was obviously to accommodate extra tables and be outside with the government restrictions of table spacing requirements affecting numbers.  We had a quick look inside and I have to say, the expressions on the diners that we saw seemed to sum up the almost sauna-like feel with no air conditioning or decent fans in the supremely hot tent interior and I’m not sure I would have been equally happy if I had driven all the way down from London to have lunch in this setting.  I can only pray that the diners were either informed of this before they came or were offered something in lieu of not being in the main building (now with a refurbished bar area and rooms that are (mostly) another hefty £350 per night).

On to the meal, the large, fulsome whitebait snack is still a crispy pleasure with its Marie rose sauce and the soda bread was fine.  What was a disappointment was being served menus still dripping in slimy ‘goop’, which we could only hope was sanitiser.  This it was, but you would have thought that an expensive restaurant like this would not be this sloppy.  We also had to wait 25 minutes to be asked for our order which was a bit of a blow as it was also made clear that we only had the table for 2 hours as the Hand and Flowers is very much a double sitting venue for both lunch and dinner. Not the slickest service and hospitality in the land.

Starters enjoyed were the fabulously smooth duck liver parfait with orange chutney on brioche and a courgette & pea tart with Lamb Chorizo Fritter and Chantilly de Cheyre which was satisfying and a pleasant addition to see on the menu.  The battered brill aka fish and chips came with triple cooked chips as usual and a pea and mint puree which were a treat.  There is no doubt that the batter made with sparkling water and few other tricks up their sleeve and deep-fried in beef dripping is a master show of fish and chips with good quality brill, but the £44 is now too much for the privilege I am sad to say. As good as the brill is, it simply will not merit this cost more what can be gained from those new to the establishment and dish.  As of 2021, this course is now an insane £61 which I cannot see as justifiable for the return.

I opted for the beef as I have had this before and as in 2012, it is served with onion rings, triple-cooked chips, sauce bordelaise and bearnaise (I miss the little jar the latter used to be served in thought).  The sirloin comes from Dovecote Park and we were informed at the table that only two cows in every 2000 are selected for the Hand and Flowers. Whether this is the case or not, you have to examine the quality of the meat rather than the ‘rarity’ and I have to confirm that the cut I had was a complete let down with a surprising and complete lack of flavour. It was salvaged by the splendid bordelaise and a delightful bearnaise, but these are supporting elements.  It is sad when the support acts are actually the stars of the show and I was amazed that this dish was £67.  What is even more of a genuine shock is that this dish is now (in 2021) a whopping £87 which is frankly unjustifiable.

As time was running out, we decided to give desserts a miss and settled up.  My ‘pub’ lunch of one starter and one main with service charge and no drink came to £121.  For the overall experience, extended waiting times, sadly hit and miss service, quality of the food and accumulated pleasure from the dishes, this is now one of the most overpriced menus in the UK I have come across I am sad to report.  My guest’s bill with wine was approaching double this for his lunch.  Don’t get me wrong, there are still some very nice things here as they have been, but it simply seems to me that the dishes have now been turned into a cash cow for those that have yet to experience them and frankly now do not merit the price.  Thank God I have done the range of dishes before when The Hand and Flowers was striving in its earlier days at the prices they were, as the dishes ultimately have not changed since 2012, less the cranked up numbers on the bill.

Food Grade: 73%

The chicken liver parfait rivals that of Heston Blumenthal’s mandarin meat fruit which is hard to do and the fish and chips were simply the best standard you can get with succulent sweetness of the meat surrounded by an unbelievably light and crispy batter.  The Great British Menu duck dish with butter gravy was just wonderful (a must if you go) and the mustard mash with the pork was a true delight.  In short, there was nothing that we tried that was not liked by everyone.

Tom Kerridge’s food here is worthy of its 2 stars without question based purely on the sure-fire victories in the mouth they produce and it is wonderful to be able to have a pint with your meal if you so wish as opposed to wine only, such is the nature of the gastropub.  Although, that word should be used with caution as it is not really a gastro pub – it is a restaurant in a pub shell with no room for anyone to us the bar in the conventional pub way, although one can dine at the very small bar as an emergency option.  The bar itself has had to be turned in to counter dining to make up for the extremely high demand.  Getting a table here is now so difficult, my recommendation would be to take a day off work on a Mon or Tues and go for lunch or dinner any way possible a few months in advance.

A superb place for food, just such a shame the secret is out as it is such an effort to book, find a date, wait the distance and then travel there with my only reservation being that when that day comes, you had better not be late as they do double booking sessions so your table is only good for 2 hours which does not seem long enough.  Diners should not expect a refined service as many on the front of house are quite young, however, this adds to a cosy, family and unpretentious place it is and the ones I have spoken seemed passionate about the food.